I’ve been noticing a disconcerting pattern in my life. I’m surrounded by so many strong and competing opinions. I’ve buckled and have now found myself feeling as though I have nothing understood, and therefore nothing to say. Perfectionism + Uncertainty = Paralysis

I’ve been reading a couple blogs. Completely devoted by a group of Life-Link women and one by Suban Nur Cooley. Both have provoke deep admiration for these women who can think and speak for themselves in ways that touch, move, challenge, and inspire. Almost all I have been listening to in the past couple months are powerful solo female artists. Billie Holiday, Adelle, Norah Jones, Ella Fitzgerald, Etta James, Ann Peebles, some Duffy, and a little Amy Winehouse …although the only thing she inspires in me is depression. I have been singing more and thought I was listening to these ladies solely to get ideas but I think really what’s drawing me to these women is their strength, their minds, the voice heard through the song.

The Charismatic Church vs The Ivory Tower of Academia. Plainly, I find my biggest struggles spiritual vs the natural.  I need to establish some thoughts. Where do I stand? What am I pursuing? What have I reasonably decided is best not understood? I’ll get to this more in later posts I’m sure. Being at MSU can suck all the spiritual life out of me.

I’m not down about it, I just see need for growth. My life is exciting, I’m loved by so many, have many relationship in the making  that I’m incredibly excited for, Gods continuing the good work He’s started in me, and this summer could be the best yet…

Closing thoughts: I’m going to risk thinking for myself. I won’t damage relationship by always saying what I think. But I should at least have a thought to be altered, seek resolution instead of abandonment. Having moments of disequilibrium  is a fact of life.

That’s ambiguous enough, good time to close.

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